The next disaster hit when I was 13 years old, and was back in Delhi, going once again to a regular school; and then suddenly, I got thrown out of Loreto Convent School in class 8 just because I was a blind child. No other regular school wanted me after that and my parents tried to admit me into a school for blind girls, but this school was in a poor condition and they, did not send me there. And even today there are hardly any quality schools for blind girls!
It was real hard work after that, I had to learn everything on my own; from housework to whatever knowledge I could get my hands on with no technology or any other assistance available to me accept the radio and my home environment. All I had was the encouragement and love of my parents! For instance, my mother would close her own eyes and develop effective ways to teach me. Life was very painful and lonely, but I shared this with no one; I did not want to further hurt my parents, so I always hid my sadness and fear and trotted my bumpy life journey with fake enthusiasm, till it became my second nature!
However, next I was put to learning sitar with a dream of becoming a world class sitarist. And then, almost after 8 years of practicing for 8-9 hours every day, I was told by my guruji, that I did not have the gift of music, I was informed that I could never become a performing artist! I was completely shattered with this news, for I only wanted to pursue excellence, and if I could not do that in this music line, I gave it up completely!
Around this time I was getting into my twenties, and I started wondering and worrying about my future, what would become of me? How would I be able to spend my whole life? What must I do? I did not want to live alone, had to have a life partner. I was very fond of reading and listening and learning was my hobby, but there had to be more than just these few things for me to get through life with respect and dignity!
So I decided that I will get married and have a great home and children. And, from here on my life took another disastrous turn! For I soon found out that no one wanted to marry me because I was blind! I wasn’t ready to accept another failure, and I decided that this time I will find a husband, get married and live a good life! It proved to be more than difficult, but, I did not give up and went on to search for a good life partner by myself.
I ultimately did manage to find one, married him at 23; and after 2 hours of signing the marriage register, I discovered that this was the biggest disaster of my life! I had married a compulsive lyre, an alcoholic and an abusive man.
